it was like having sex with a tree stump
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
