You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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