i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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