haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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