like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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