this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Mom said you looked used
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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