I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
