Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
