3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I will be naked everywhere
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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