That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
