what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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