So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
