i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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