Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
