Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
