I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
