Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
