i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
