Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
