If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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