Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
