this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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