The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
