He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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