Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
