Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
