I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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