Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
