She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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