so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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