Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
