I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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