first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
