well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
