***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Couch. On fire.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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