I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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