she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
