Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
