There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
