I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think i have herpe
just one?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
