Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
