dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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