so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
