THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
