I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sex in a hospital.. check
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
