Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
