that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
