Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
