I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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