I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
